The Most Important Advice Your Christian Youth Leader ISN’T Giving You

Caleb Rockstedt
7 min readJan 16, 2022


It’s been almost fifteen years now since I was a youth leader. Since then, I’ve had the majority of my important life experiences.

I’ve spent time as a missionary in a third-world country and learned a completely new language and culture.

I’ve studied at four different universities and gained four tertiary degrees.

I’ve lived in tiny apartments in major cities and large houses in country towns and even in a trailer home in the forest in the middle of nowhere.

I’ve both worked for various franchises and run my own business.

And perhaps most importantly, I got married and had five beautiful children, which fundamentally changed the way I understood the world and gave me a much greater perspective for the future.

And for all my learning and experience, I can say that when I was a youth leader… I knew my scriptures, but I knew absolutely nothing about the real world.

And that was a major disservice to those that I was meant to be leading.

So here I’ve summed up the most important knowledge I have about life that I would want all Christian youth to know and understand.

Talking to the young men and young women obviously requires different approaches and focuses. So I’ve split it up into two central messages.

To The Young Men:

You are not boys. You are men. Don’t let a corrupt, infantile society keep you in a box. You are not a child.

Don’t let weak men tell you who Jesus is.

Jesus is the ultimate masculine role model to follow and aspire to be like. He labelled priests and politicians liars and hypocrites to their faces. He flipped tables. He called out the corrupt institutions of the time. He was a rebel against the establishment.

But he was never ever weak, no matter what weak men may have told you, and he never taught or encouraged weakness.

When Jesus tells us to be meek, in the original Greek that means “possessing ultimate power under ultimate self-control”, or as Jordan Peterson put it, men with swords who know how to use them expertly, and in their confidence and wisdom have no need to fight unnecessarily.

Jesus was a superhero and a rebel, but he never rebelled against God. By serving God honestly and without hypocrisy, he was brutal to those hypocrites of the political and religious establishment. The Pharisees were first and foremost a political party who had twisted the law of God into a whole bunch of meaningless rules without rhyme or reason. Jesus stood up to that, and that was why he ruffled so many feathers. It’s why they killed him. They feared revolution.

Learning to be a strong man begins with getting to know who Jesus really was and what he really taught, and living by that as honestly as you can.

THAT is what makes women want to have your babies.

So don’t believe any one bible translation or pastor or minister. Don’t blindly follow man. Treat it like a puzzle made for you to uncover the true meaning for yourself. Read several different translations, always check the Greek, reason it out logically, and stick with truth.

To The Young Women:

You need someone to be honest with you for once about the difference between feminism and femininity.

The world has tricked you into thinking that you will be happiest pursuing a career and putting off children until your 30s when 90% of your eggs have died.

Newsflash: The government simply wants two tax incomes from each household instead of one. They also don’t want you to have any more than one or two children, and they want you to be so focused on your career that you put those children in government schools so they can brainwash a new generation of mindless worker-bee slaves.

And they have spent literally billions of dollars in television, movie and social media programming to convince that you don’t actually want to have babies. Or at least not until you’re too old to have a big family.

A lot of the church’s rhetoric to the young women is still encouraging careers in response to unhappy, depressed progressives when they are 20 years behind the curve here. Many women have tried that route, ended up miserable and turned back to traditionalism.

Women have realized that they are not empowered by slaving away for some boss they don’t care about to pay the government back for all their college debt they gained when they were too young to understand that debt is slavery.

They are empowered when they are free to create their own domain, to make a home to nurture the people they love most in the world. To learn about true health and growing their own organic vegetable garden. To homeschool their own children instead of sending them off to a government school with a bunch of strangers that don’t love their children. To invest their time and energy into what will change the world the most in the future, raising the next generation to be the best people they can.

So many women have spent years on antidepressants, working in some cubicle, only to learn when they moved back to a more traditional homesteading lifestyle in touch with nature that all their depression came from thinking that they could in some way live with one foot in the world and one foot in reality.

But no, Christ separates the sheep from the goats, the wheat from the tares.

In the Mormon church, there is this oft-cited parable or metaphor, a bit like Jacob’s Ladder in the Bible, called Lehi’s Dream, in which many people seeking the Tree of Life get lost on the way and wander off to the Great and Spacious building, unless they hold on tightly to the word of God.

It is interesting that what represents the goal of the Godly path is not the whole created world but a single tree. Something humble but natural, which covers all the basic necessities of life. Shelter, food, a good patch of soil in which to grow, and a family lineage to establish.

Whereas the goal of the world is something unnatural, manmade, lofty. A New York City skyrise. A tower of babel. An apartment building that offers you no real room to grow. Out of harmony with our natural environment. Something that will not regenerate and grow and spur on new life, but if left without man to repair it, will decay and crumble.

The government school systems have intentionally pushed women into careers not because they care about empowering women, but because they want twice as much money from you in taxes.

There’s so much more to life than just get up, go to work, go to sleep, get up, go to work, go to sleep, when a patch of soil and some water can grow all the food you need.

Women only have until about forty to have children. Heck, half of your eggs are gone by the age of twenty-one! Obviously your body was designed to be most fertile in your late teens. And that’s also when you are young and have the most energy to keep up with little children. If you are healthy you will have another forty or fifty years after that to pursue a career or build a business if you want.

But honestly, focusing on child-raising and building creative homemaking skills, will probably give you more opportunities to build up a side-hustle business when your children no longer need constant supervision.

If you get super good at teaching piano or beekeeping or baking organic healthy muffins or cutting hair because you care about what you’re doing and the people you are doing it for, so you seek for excellence in everything, then you end up with a dozen options for a side business, so that if you did lose your husband for some reason, you have options for things you can pursue full-time, that don’t involve going to back to school at forty.

It makes so much logical sense it’s not funny.

(But, obviously, if you did want to go back to school at forty to become an accountant or a nurse or school teacher or whatever, obviously you can still do that. But don’t buy into the government lie that you need a degree to get a good job. That’s propaganda to get you into debt so you never really get ahead in life.)

C. S. Lewis spoke truth when he said that “the homemaker has the ultimate career. All other careers exist for one purpose only, that is to serve the ultimate career.”

Once men become fathers they realize that providing for their family, building a family, raising a family lineage is probably more important than anything they’ll ever do in their career. Their job serves not to gain them status. It serves to provide for their family. This is the real legacy they will build in their lives.

And deep down, what actual men want most is to provide in such a way that you as their wife feels no obligation to work outside the home to bring in extra money; so that you can be there in person to raise his children in love.

Real men are most attracted to true femininity in women: health, fertility and a spirit of nurture. And that’s what they want to protect and provide for.

Finally, one of the most important things to most youth is friendship; spending time with people you love and care about.

Well, to be honest, you don’t get that in a corporate job. ‘

You get that from a traditional lifestyle in a home-schooling, homesteading community. Your whole life is creativity, growth and spending time doing activities with people you love. And the more creative and self-sufficient you are, the less Babylonian money you need to live a happy life.

Let’s all not sit at tables Jesus would have flipped.



Caleb Rockstedt

Father, Husband, Christian, Truther, Traditionalist, Homesteader, Philosopher, Author, Musician, Bear.